Long before Bill Clinton was ready to leave office, Troubletown asked the American People what they thought the former President would do when he was done in Washington. From among over 150,000 thoughtful responses, here were the fifteen most common, some of which have already come true! 1. Bill will open a Krispy Kreme franchise in New York City and gain 150 pounds. 2. Open an adult video and fried chicken establishment in a shopping mall. 3. Open the first McDonald's/strip club franchise... 4. Open his presidential library—the world's most extensive collection of porn. 5. Open a video store with a big porn section. 6. Get slapped with divorce papers and need a hug. 7. Snort cocaine with George W. Bush. 8. Wear shoes and socks less frequently. 9. Get elected President again. 10. Be assimilated back into the amazing Democratic party in Washington to continue good work for his country. 11. Make grilled cheese sandwiches. 12. Smoke a big joint. 13. Tell lesbian jokes and rent "buttman" videos. 14. Take over Playboy when "Hef" dies. 15. Go where the girls are! Now there's a NEW president and his name is -- Dick Cheney. Yes, we know what you're going to say: George W. Bush was elected president—by the Supreme Court at least! But, c'mon, we all know who's really running the show, don't we? And it's not the mental midget from Midland. It might be reassuring in a way, except for one thing: Old Dick is a very sick man. A few days before the election theft he had to be rushed into heart surgery to save him from a massive coronary. No problem, he said. A month later his arteries were back to 90% blocked! I'm not sick, he claimed. How does he do it? What does he eat? Q. What is Dick Cheney's dietary lifestyle? [ Here's what I think! ] [ previous polls | home ]