In an effort to provide what endless presidential debates and media coverage have so far been unable to acertain, we asked 100,000 Troubletown fans the question, "What does George W. Bush Jr. know?" Here are the top fifteen nearly unanimous responses. 1. How to snort cocaine 2. How to use a coke spoon 3. How to use a triple beam scale (whatever that is) 4. Where to score some blow 5. How to stop a nosebleed 6. How to shakedown teenage drug dealers for their cocaine 7. The best place to buy quality cocaine in Dallas 8. How to cop a kilo of coke & have the media downplay it 9. Whores who also sell cocaine 10. How to tap a keg when you're frosted on cocaine 11. A few guys in Bahrain who have excellent cocaine 12. How to speak into a microphone when your upper lip is numb from cocaine 13. Where brother Jeb hides HIS cocaine. 14. How to administer a lethal injection to a prisoner by telephone 15. Things about the Texas cemetery business the media will never tell us Bill Clinton has been our president for almost eight years. Some say he's been an embarrassing stain on the fabric of our nation, yet others think his will be a legacy of brilliance and vision. He pushed hard for free trade, was pursued by a sniveling special prosecutor, and was impeached by a Newt. He challenged all of us to reconsider what the definition of "is" is. His most intimate erotic moments were transcribed in the pages of the New York Times and became hilarious late-nite talk show porn. His sleepy, waffling drawl was the hypnotic lullaby that signaled to America the end of another millennium. But soon, one of two dull, greedy fratboys will win the wrestling match to lead this nation. The FUN presidency will be over. Then, what will become of Mr. William Jefferson Clinton? What WILL he do? [ previous polls | home ]